Bumps Along the Way
by spottedhorse
Summary: Edith had known it was a bad idea and sought refuge in a quiet place. But she was discovered.


Yes, I know; I should be working on Life Is a Journey. But this tortured me all day long and I finally got a chance to write it. Blame it on all the chatter on tumblr and pictures that geve me ideas;-)

It is a one shot so I'll let your mind take you on down the road at the end. Happy reading.

* * *

The fair had been a bad idea, Edith realized as she meandered away form the members of her family that had insisted she come along. It seemed no matter what she wore these days, the bump insisted upon making its presence felt, making her self conscious. Rumors were all around, she knew but at least most tried to be discreet with their stares and whispers. Still, it was tiring, dodging all the prying eyes. So breaking away she sought a quiet place to rest and hide.

No sooner than she had settled on a bench under a large shade tree, she recognized a familiar blonde head that stood out above the crowd. Shrinking back against the back of the bench and trying to put the tree between her and him, Edith frantically wondered if he had seen her. She couldn't bear the thought of him knowing…not him. But of course he probably already did, she reminded herself. The whole county probably knew. After all, there was no juicier gossip than the daughter of nobility getting herself into a mess like this. Still, him knowing and her having to face him with the knowledge were two different levels of discomfort. She didn't think she could bear his reaction.

But then anger gripped her momentarily. She wouldn't be in this situation if he hadn't… but the anger passed almost as quickly as it had come upon her. She had made her choices; no one forced her into it…not even Michael. Still, she didn't think she could face Anthony.

Tears began to trickle down her cheeks as she watched his head move away. It hurt to see him again. And as she watched his head disappear into the crowd, sadness overcame her. It was as if he was walking away from her all over again. Looking down to shield her face from any who might look her way, her eyes settled on the bump. And the tears began to fall even harder. If things had gone differently that day, this would be his little bump.

"Lady Edith?" the voice was weighted with concern and perhaps even a little fear. But it was a familiar one, one she longed to hear. Looking up into the concerned blue eyes of Anthony Strallan, Edith began to cry even harder.

"Oh, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you further…." He stumbled. "I saw that you were distressed and…"

"No, it's alright," she managed to say between sobs. " I just…"

"May I sit?" he asked, motioning to the empty space on the bench beside her."

"Yes..." she replied without hesitating and then immediately feeling self conscious again.

He watched her quietly for a few seconds and then tilting his head, he peered into her eyes. "Why are you distressed? I realize my presence isn't …"

"No, that's not it…not exactly. I mean, I'm glad to see you…I think. It…brings back old feelings…hurts… but…I'm glad you are here."

"I …I'm sorry," he whispered in agony. "I hurt you that day and I've regretted it ever since…the way I went about it, I mean."

She looked away again, unable to meet his gaze. So he really didn't want her after all…but she knew that; somewhere deep inside, she had known. "Yes, well.."

"But I see my wishes for you are coming true," he said as he looked pointedly at her abdomen.

"What?" she asked as her head popped up to look at him again. "Your wishes?"

"For a man more deserving of you… a younger man. And you have a family now complete with a little one on the way?"

"No…I mean…yes, there is a little one on the way but…" the tears started again; she couldn't stop them. "Surely you've heard? Are you here simply to taunt me, Anthony? I would have thought that beneath you."

"Taunt? Why would I? On the contrary, I'm quite envious of this young man of yours. He is a very lucky chap indeed." He was trying to sound bright and happy but Edith recognized the despair in his voice and it confused her.

"You haven't heard?"

"Heard what? I…well, I don't get out much since…that day. I'm only here today because I had an appointment with…well, that doesn't matter. The point is that I have somewhat buried myself at Locksley and really don't hear much of the news."

"Oh." Watching his face closely, she realized he was being completely honest. He really had no idea. "Well yes, I am pregnant but no, I am not married nor does it seem I will ever be." She saw the confusion that built in his features, confusion and something else she couldn't quite place…disappointment perhaps? "So now you know why I am sitting here in tears. I tried to tell the others that coming out today was a mistake but they wouldn't hear me. Everyone is watching me, judging me and…it became too much."

He studied her face and then his eyes fell to her mid section before sweeping over the crowd. She recognized the contemplative expression that came over him and the look of worry. But then he looked back at her, quiet determination in his eyes. "Would you care to walk with me?"

"Walk with you? But where?"

"Does it matter? We used to pass some very happy moments simply walking and talking…or at least, I thought those times were happy."

Feeling better than she had in ages, Edith smiled. "You…you don't mind being seen with me? Everyone is still speculating about …well, they don't know who…"

A sly, crooked smile broke across his features, lighting his eyes as he looked at her...that look that had warmed her so often in years past. "They will think whatever they want to think. All that interests me is what you think."

"Think…about what?"

"Let's start with if you can forgive this foolish old man."

"I forgave you long ago Anthony. I knew why you did it. I was quite angry with you for a long time, but I understood why you did it. And foolish? Yes, you were. But old?" She smiled a real smile for the first time in weeks. "No, never old…not really."

Standing, he offered her his hand. "If that's the case then, I have a question for you. And I want you to consider your answer carefully because where you are concerned, my dearest, I 'm afraid I'm inclined toward profound foolishness."

As they made their way down the road in the general direction of Downton, Edith Crawley looked up at him. "I adore foolishness," she said softly.

"Good, because I'm afraid I am about to become quite practiced in it," he murmured softly as they left the village.


End file.
